101 climbs (and moderate inclines) of Essex.


  1. North Hill

If you’ve not entered the gates of hell at the base of North Mountain then you haven’t lived. Rising from the river valley floor, North Hill runs from Papermill Lock up to Little Baddow. A sub 4min climb if you are going well (especially since its resurfacing) or a 2:30 climb if you are an aspiring World Tour pro. The true giant of the mid Essex Alps with average grade of 6%. Simon Warren gave it 1/10. We think he must have been drunk. An initial mellow ramp leads you into The Rodney Wall and through the switchbacks to the notorious Pink House.

  1. Mott St

The King of Epping Forest. Nearly a mile at 6%. Two ramps that both go up to 15% will let you know how good you actually are. So good we named a bib short after it and it made it into the 100 climb book.

  1. Galleywood Hill

Often avoided and rightly so. The drag begins form the humpback bridge and on a day with a headwind this must be respected because by the time you enter the canopy of Galleywood forest it won’t be long until the road starts to point straight up. Dubbed the Margeretting Road mountain, you’ll soon be pointing up at a radical 18.2% literally looking at the stars before catching your breath and grinding your way towards the traffic lights at the old racecourse.

Galleywood Hill

  1. Wigley Bush Lane

Named after a bush that had no straight branches at all, Wigley Bush Lane rises from Brook St up to the old Tower Arms in South Weald. Once you round the bend she shoots you up into the sky, pulls your pants down and laughs in your face as you as you go from a manageable 5% to 8.5% all the way to the top. Having probably had to ease up or pull out a cheeky track stand at the traffic calming measure toward the top, you are probably doing a bit of swearing by the time you reach the summit. But there is a church at the top so keep those naughty words in your head.

  1. Laigdon Hills

From The Duckhouse this isn’t a particularly pretty ride but there are some steep things round these parts and also a lot of rubbish: old bathrooms, brickwork, and general detritus on the roads on a bad day. Belting out 11% at its peak it’s a three and a half minute climb if you’re going OK and a brute at that.

  1. St Lawrence

Out in the middle of the flat lands, somewhere near Tillingham and Bradwell, lies a hill with a church at the top. It’s not a long climb but it does whack you in the stack with an 18% baseball bat of gradient. Bosh!

  1. Colam Lane

A favourite in The Duck House as it avoids North Hill, Colam Lane essentially rises from the canal valley floor at Hammonds Road all the way to The Pink House via Church Road. Not steep but with a couple of Essex-centric (4%) ramps it is generally pretty filthy in the winter and pretty pretty in the summer.

  1. Fryerning Bump

If you get the corner before well, miss the little manhole cover on the inside, and carry your speed through then you’ll be over this in no time with a couple of big cranks. Miss a beat though and she will bite you. 2.8% doesn’t do her justice. The climb ends at Fryerning Church where you can rest at the bench or plough on to Mill Green or the village of Ingatestone.

  1. Wellington Hill, Epping

Home of a really nasty jump trail on the way down, Wellinton Hill going up is a different story. Half a mile averaging 6% topping out at 12%, this lump up to High Beech isn’t very long but will kick you in the shins and run away if you take the micky out of its dodgy fringe and hoop earrings.

  1. Danbury Park Road/Woodhill Road

Just because Mr Dowsett has gone up this half mile long stretch at well over 20mph doesn’t make it flat. OK, let's get that straight. For most it’s uphill. Strong legs will flatten it out though. It tops out at 8% so that’ll do for most of us. One with another long run in, again open and exposed. Do too much and it’ll bite you. Hide in the wheels and attack your friends.

  1. Upminster to Warley

Seldom done by us in The DH and wisely so. Dubbed "The Ascension To Hell" she holds ¾’s of a mile at 6% that rises over the London Orbital and slams your quads with 10% of grade. At the top, hell does not await you; only Little Warley.

  1. Hall Lane, Shenfield

Connecting Doddinghurst and Shenfield, Hall Lane (4% and a max of 9%) winds its way through woodland and is currently home to one of the deepest potholes in the south east of England. Rumoured to have its very own postcode.

  1. Spring Elms Lane

Linking Woodham Walter and Little Baddow via a golf course, Spring Elms is a  tempo climb. Not rising above 3.5% and averaging 2% for 1.8 miles. Ideal. Jeremy's done it at 21mph hasn’t he… Showing off or riding a tailwind.

  1. Up to Maldon High St (Maldon Rd/Cromwell Rd)

This one is actually a bit of a brute, especially if you are planning to make the naughty cut through to Cromwell Road. Topping out at 12% if you take the Maldon Rd option to the High St or 11% for the Cromwell Rd, this will tear your legs off before you head back inland from the seaside. Take care if you are using the Cromwell Rd option because crossing towards inbound traffic can be a little spicy!

  1. Honeypot Lane

A cut-through between the Ingatestone Road and the Stock Road, Honeypot Lane should be taken with respect. Short and steep but with an exit onto the climb into Stock. Go in too hot to the junction, lose your trackstand, fail to clip back in and there will there will be a bus up your toosh in no time.

  1. Queens Park, Billericay

A double-ramper that isn’t at all visible on Strava as it hasn’t got a segment that we can see. Having said that, Colin has done it at 25mph anyway so maybe it’s not even a hill. Maybe it’s a figment of our imagination.

  1. That horrid one towards Dunton (Botney Hill)

Absolutely pointless. Why would you ruin quite a nice bit of the county with nearly 20% of beast? But of course both Russ and Colin have gone up it at 20mph. Quite how is beyond me. Probably with their massive legs and a big ring. Wallop!!

  1. Billericay to Stock (Stock Hill)

If 0.62 miles at 6% with a max of 7.5% doesn’t get you, the Billericay to Chelmsford bus will.

  1. London Road, Brentwood

Why you would ride up here regularly is beyond me but should you feel the need to take the main road from Jct28 of the M25 to Brentwood High St then go for your life. 1 mile at 3%. Main bus route. No escape. Traffic islands and traffic lights. But if needs must then you must.

  1. Concrete road from Ivy Barns Lane

Laid by POW’s in WW2. Little known fact. Rising from Ivy Barns and linking into Highwood with some horrible bridleway to greet you at the top. Chang is still the king here but probably only because he’s hunted it out. Best on a cross bike.


Up from Ivy Barns

  1. Mill Lane, Broomfield

Mill Lane deserves a place in a Belgian classic. A former cut through between Broomfield and Springfield, it is now gated off and offers a way out on into Chelmsford's sprawling metropolis. As a climb she is another punchy one that is fully dependent on the run in you can get. Get a straight line through the gravel, avoid the gate and a bit of kerb, get a day without any dog walkers, and a set of good legs will get you up this lump in no time (0.1 miles at 8.7%). Get a rubbish run in and you’ll be behind the gear and going backwards. Did Ian Franklin really go up it at 25mph? Probably.

  1. Bicknacre Road, Danbury

A decent road surface helps this gentle climb up from Bicknacre to the back of Danbury. 4% for 0.75 miles. Steady but without any biting sections. Carry on the road to take you back down Danbury Park Road or hang a right before the top and take it on all the way to Eve's Corner where the gradient steepens and a final kick in the thighs awaits the brave.

  1. Sporhams Lane, Danbury

Coming up from the ford, Sporhams Lane is another classic little Essex climb. It holds around 5% for just over half a mile, rising through a mix of farmland, woodland and common land maxing out at 7%. One of our favourites on a dry day when the ford is more passable!

  1. Gay Bowers Lane, Danbury

Aptly going round the back of Danbury, Gay Bowers lane skirts across the woods at the bottom of Danbury Common before driving up the hill and a narrow passage between the trees. Banging it in at 6% this little lane has been rutted out of the surrounding woodland and offers a particularly rough ride especially to the inexperienced.

  1. Bassetts Lane, Danbury

Narrow and gritty with the optional left to take you up to Spring Elms to really top it off. Not a popular route but a great little road that forms part of “Le Loop De La North Hill”.

  1. Horndon On The Hill (road up to)

Atop of this 12% jackwanger lies arguably the coldest recreational sports ground in Essex. If you approach from Laigndon Hills you get the worst of it and then you get to descend in Stanford Le Hope. Out of the frying pan and all that...

  1. East Hanningfield Road from Rettendon

Rettendon is only known for one thing. Gangland murder. The rise from Rettendon Commmon to East Hanningfield doesn’t appear to have a segment so we can lie about it all we like. But we won’t. Just don’t stand still for long or you’ll be pushing up daisies in Danbury Common. Kapish?

  1. Lower Burnham Road to the Water Tower

The flat Dengie myth blasted out of the water. A mile averaging 3% but topping out at 9% it’s one not to fire into at the bottom (wahay). Clearly Alex Dowsett has gone through it at over 22mph but rumour has it he uses a secret tunnel.

  1. Rectory Lane to The Water Tower

Easing you in gently and then punching you in the face with a 10% baseball bat to hurt. A feature on The Tour Of Dengie Sportive, this one crescendos to the water tower getting progressively steeper as she goes. 

  1. Fambridge Road

Riding out to Burnham the mind's eye expects a flat course. Fambridge Road sticks a big spanner in that. Fambridge Road links the road out of the back of Woodham to Althorne and Burnham. Rising over 0.6 miles to nearly 4%, the descent on a windy day is no fun at all. Coming the other way is steeper but for some reason we always ride round this particular peninsular anti-clockwise, so we don’t go the other way much. Probably just to avoid this little climb.

  1. Bird Lane to Warley Gap

Occasionally a bit of a horror show, especially in the winter, but pretty. Leading up through the woods to Warley you’ll be lucky to get up without having to stall a bit around the odd traffic island. She is a good one though even though her entrance lies a bit close to the Brentwood junction with the A127 making her a bit of a path less travelled. Around a mile at 6% maxing out at 10%.

  1. Weald Road to Brentwood High St

Having survived being run over by a plumber on the Weald Road, you then have to get up this to the traffic lights at the bottom of Brentwood High St. A sustained ramp which goes up to 8% as it reaches its end.The final hammer blow to a few commutes.

  1. Toot Hill bumps

Rolling through Toot Hill are the bumps: three 7% body blows over one mile. The classic “just pedal into it” sort of scenario! Someone has KOM’d this at 34mph. That’s pretty ridiculous. He must have done that on a moped or during a hurricane. In seriousness though the last one can be a bit of a brute.

The second bump

  1. Ivy Chimneys

Another climb featured on the Epping Alpine route of champions' Ivy Chimneys has a particularly harsh first pitch as it goes under a railway bridge and turns up into a bunch of houses. Get behind a gear here and you are stuffed. That first bit has 12% in it somewhere as you hope no one “car doors” you before leveling out a little and proceeding to grind your face off again with a similar ramp up to the junction at the top of the road.

  1. Theydon Bois (Coppice Road to roundabout)

Pushing the 7% barrier the rise out of Theydon Bois from the Tesco Express (the beating heart of Theydon Bois) to Epping Forest is a staple of our midweek rides. Bringing you into Epping Forest past one of the many addresses where “Rod Stewart lives” (no one actually knows where he lives) she will deliver you over Jacks Hill with the rest of the woods at your disposal.

  1. Crown Hill, Epping

Known locally as “Steve’s Hill”, Crown Hill is a quarter of a mile at 7% but in reality is a lot more because of the drag at the beginning and the end. Probably one of the less savage ramps to take you up and over Epping but a ramp nevertheless. A great drag though again through Epping Forest’s north end.

  1. Horseshoe Hill, Epping

11% around the second corner on the way to Upshire, she is short but intense. A bit like a girl I dated at college. It didn’t last. And neither will this. But the pub at the top specialises in fish. However, like a curry house with too big a menu, I wouldn’t trust it. It’s too far away from the coast.

  1. Clay Pit Hill, Epping

You don’t get bigger dogs in the Epping Forest kennel than Claypit. Rising up from the main road up to High Beach, Claypit swoops left and steepens to well over 10%. She averages 8% from the mid-point junction but 5.5% from the beginning. Often she's dirty, filthy in the winter and generally has a few horrid holes that you need to watch for. Rain gulleys from the woods mean after a shower this can be a filthy thing indeed…

  1. Church Road, Epping

Another Epping whopper. Rising from Lippits to the top of Mott St and taking its time about it. Averaging 6% over nearly 0.4 miles and topping out again at nearly 20%, Church Road doesn’t have the glory of your Mott Streets or your North Hills but she is a cruel mistress hidden in the heart of the woods.

  1. The Braxted Wall

On paper 1% over 1.7 miles doesn’t seem much. But chuck in a 10.1% gradient and the fact a wall runs alongside the road gives this a reputation.

  1. Lippits Hill, Epping

Steep and dirty. 0.2 miles at an average of 12% topping out at 20%. No getting away from that is there? A horror show.

  1. Daws Hill, Epping

The Epping chapter continues. Half a mile averaging at 6% but getting up to 13%. Savage, but it won’t last long. Still savage though. A classic woodland climb. Wet and grizzly in both July and January. James from the 6am club has this one. Early birds and all.

  1. Broxhill Road, Havering

Rising up to the top of Havering Atte Bower with views from the Dartford Bridge to The City of London lies Broxhill Road. Actually not a bad ride even though it has a 10% grade in it. A good canopy of trees shield you from the elements and from the top of the hill there are both excellent gravel and road options for your onward journey. 

  1. Toot Hill

Banging up to Toot Hill from Stanford Rivers, this classic berg ramps up to 8.7% after boshing you in the face with a mile long run in. It’s where legends are made. and where lesser mortals get torn to shreds and spat out in a spluttering mess by the time they get to Greensted Green.

  1. Codham Mill lane

10% around the bend. A third of a mile at 5% going past Codham Mill. Providing the missing link between Shalford Green and Gosfield. In a nice way.

  1. Halstead High Street

Back in the day there were races that went up here. No more. 0.2 miles at around 6%. Shoppers watch in awe as you gurn your way up past Boots and Iceland hoping no one reverses into you.

  1. School Hill (into Birch)

Basically 0.1 mile at 5%. But it is a road with hill at the end. So that counts.

  1. Climb to the Viper (two ways)

As we know, The Viper public house is closed. But the world still turns. But not in this part of the world. But it does mark the top of a naughty little climb that can be accessed from either Ivy Barns Lane or Ingatestone Road. Both are almost 5% and both KOM’d at almost 28mph. Don’t let that fool you though…

Home turf

  1. Edwins Hall Lane, Woodham

Going up in two steps, Edwins Hall forms part of some infamous hill climbs, even though it actually has a little downhill segment in it between ramps. A lovely quiet little lane leading up to Old Woodham. Both ramps have at least 8% in them with a 10% wallop in the 'jacks crackers' by the time the second ramp shows its ugly, gnarled face.

  1. Crows Lane

Taking you back into civilisation, or maybe South Woodham, Crows Lane’s half a mile holds another 10% card up its sleeve. Traditionally a bit filthy but from memory it’s been resurfaced. So it’s not as filthy as my memory.

  1. South Hanningfield Road

Horrible, pointless and generally into the wind

  1. Thaxted Church Climb

Belting through the fields, the view of the church in the distance means it's time to crank out the watts. Short but steep, the climb to Thaxted Church was KOM’d by “Turbo Willybags” in January 2019. Willybags is fine rider by his own admission and the whole of Essex is proud of his 880 watt achievement.

  1. Castle Climb, Hedingham

A fair punch from the village lies Castle Hedingham. Another beautiful old village with an old castle at its centre (as opposed to those new ones that are littering the Essex countryside!). This is now used for weddings but originally it was a proper defensive castle, moat and everything! The Castle Climb goes past the entrance peaking at 12%. 

  1. North Road Climb, Tollesbury

Never been up it personally but Chang has the KOM and he says it’s well hard. So it must be.

  1. Beacon Hill, Braxsted

Not massively difficult but it does go up past an adventure playground so that’s pretty cool. 0.75 miles maxing at a face-melting 4%.

  1. Avey Lane, Epping

Close to the spot of the notorious Hangmans Hill in Epping Forest (where cars appear to roll uphill), Avey Lane rises up from Gunpowder Park to High Beach with a flat beginning that rises to 12% before the top. A long and fairly straight climb that has a 4% average but ramps up significantly in its latter parts as it closes in on High Beech through the forest.

  1. Rise up to A12 (Ivy Barns)

Coming from Mill Green, Ivy Barns Lane is one of the best in the area. From that direction she spirals ever so slightly downhill until you get to Furze Hill and a climb that, because it turns onto a slip road of the A12, is one of the most technical in Essex. 0.2 miles at 6% with potentially a bit of a stall in the middle to allow for some passing traffic.


  1. Swan Lane

Gently rising from Margeretting Tye with a couple of awkward pinch points, a corner where there is a giant puddle for at least 9 months of the year and gatorskin defying gravel in the middle of the road for around ¾'s of the way up; Swan Lane is truly an unsung beauty of the Essex cycling scene. Maxing at nearly 3% and carrying on for maybe 2 miles, the final ramp into Stock can catch you out especially if you happen to be in the middle of the road ploughing through a winter's worth of crap.

  1. Hay Green Lane

Another controversially flat climb. Don’t care. It’s uphill. It’s a climb. 2%. A giant 2% and a very pretty cut through from Blackmore to Doddinghurst.

Hay Green Lane. Pretty.

  1. Climb to Norton Heath Café

More of a drag than a climb, Fingrith Hall lane ends where the fabled Norton Heath Café begins. Order your breakfast by number. Pay with cash. Home of veggie breakfast with black pudding. Average grade from the village 1% maxing out at 2.3%.

  1. Hurrels Lane, Danbury

Aptly named on Strava as “Doggers2”, Hurrels Lane is where we were once confronted by a transvestite in a leopard skin coat walking a pug whilst on a photoshoot (one of our photo shoots, don't think she was on photo shoot). If you can get through the ford at the bottom there is a nice little punch (5% after the ford) before plateauing into the foothill of North Mountain. You may meet some new friends down here if you are lucky/unlucky (delete as appropriate).

Hurrels Lane.

  1. Buttsbury ford to church

Not even particularly punchy but because it has a church at the top it counts as a climb. Arguably it rises from a river valley floor so it definitely counts. The KOM has summited at 26mph, your scribe's best was at 19mph with a front puncture. At its brief worst a 10% wall.

  1. Red Lion Hill, Margeretting.

So, you think you're Alex Dowsett, belting out of Ingatestone, 26 ave, cruising. Maybe even a tailwind. Then someone put a lump in the way. As you fly past The Red Lion pub it stares at you in the face. She invites you to sprint over it but be warned. If your efforts were too great from Ingatestone she'll will have you. She will have you and spit you out and mock you. Just because Lewis went up and over it at 28mph doesn’t mean she won’t.

  1. Sandon Mill Lock to park and ride

The back door out of Chelmsford. Survive the narrow concrete bridge, don’t slam your back wheel into the dodgy guttering and smash up the rise which tops out at 7% and you are officially out of town. Worth it just to have a bit of time by the canal if anything.

  1. Noak Hill road

In a previous life this used to be part of my daily commute. Taking in a couple of  decent kicks and taking you from rural Essex into the outskirts of metropolitan London. The land of red buses. The Noak Hill Road serves as either your way in or way out of madness.

  1. Creephedge Lane

If you find yourself in South Woodham Ferrers this is basically your only way out and at particular times of day it’s not for the faint hearted. A draggy road coming out of Woodham, generally into the wind and maxing out at 5% in its nether regions (wahay). If you have managed to avoid the multiple pinch points and more than occasional boy racer using this infamous rat run then the sting in the tail before the Hanningfield ridge will probably bite you.

  1. Old London Road into Maldon

The Old London Road winds its way through the Essex countryside to the coast but before you get there you will have to deal with this badger. Averaging 4% but topping out in one very brief section at 8.8% this bad boy will be in the forefront of your nightmares before you hit the picturesque promenade or have a cup of tea on a refurbished barge.

  1. Marsh Road, Dengie

Flat as a pancake unless there’s a headwind. Home of champions. Don’t believe me? Man don’t lie. Toughest climb in Essex if wind speed is north of 15mph. Fact.

Uphill all the way

  1. Shonks Mill Road

Draggy. You want draggy? Little did you know but they actually built this road around that phrase. Starting next to the cottage with the West Ham flag on the fence, Shonks Mill rises from a dip in a little bit of woodland all the way up to Shonks Mill and The Tan House. 2% for a mile lulls you into thinking that you can just go up it really fast. But you can’t. She is a cruel mistress. The top out at 3% can kill the weak. Don’t be weak. Be strong.

  1. Stonards Hill to Epping High St

Yeah, I’ll just meet you in Epping High Street… Then idiot face has to ride up this 9% monster. Rising up and up this really is quite grim. Fortunately, there is seldom a good reason for riding up to the middle of Epping High St so it's not a regular ascent!

  1. To The Blue Egg from Bardfield

It’s in sight(ish). You can almost taste the oat cake. 1.5% ave for almost a mile. This is Essex.

72. The street climb through Pleshey

 Going through the middle of an idyllic village in the middle of Essex, the Street climb doesn’t really seem like a climb as there are enough visual distractions to steer the mind away from the long drag that averages 4% over a mile and a half. Very pretty and with a pub in the middle should you be so inclined.

 73. Fyfield to Witney Green climb

Looping over the bride, this short and fairly gentle rise takes you on the journey between Fyfield and Willingale. Half a mile or so at 3% with a little more in places.

 74. Radley Green Road

Draggy. Probably into the wind and probably smelling of horse poo. Not alpine by any stretch of the imagination. The stinking road detritus adding a couple of percent onto the already occasional 4.

Just mind the horse eggs...

 75. Stebbing Road (Felsted Climb on Strava)

Beginning at the third worst corner in the county, this little leg-burner finishes at the back of Felsted School. Virtually impossible to carry any speed into the bottom (wahay) because of the off camber turn under the railway bridge that is basically always full of detritus, this only averages 3% for half a mile but with an early bite of 7% in its early stages when you are most on the back foot.

 76. Leigh on Sea.

There are a couple of likely candidates in this immediate vicinity but we went with this as it’s the steepest. 150m at an average of 14% means it's fairly savage and with other nearby ascents from the seafront it makes up a tidy group of little punches in the area.

 77. Reader suggestion: “Everything between Earls Colne and Halstead”

I don’t know, literally no clue what they're on about but it seems we've upset someone. Look it’s a recommendation, take it with a pinch of salt. Maybe there is a mountain range we didn’t know about! There is no Strava link but there is probably an entire ordinance survey code.

 78. Dynes Hall Road

Wiggling its way through Wallace Plantation, “It should really make the top three”, we must say this has missed our radar so we’ll be making a trip in the near future! The first third of a mile at a tidy 9% before levelling out and making its way towards the back of Sible Hedingham.

 79. Colne Engane

 Another reader suggestion that we have to go and find, “...a wonderful climb from the mill on Elms Hall Lane that would surely make the top ten.” Not long, but 9% when she is kicking and only a quarter of a mile in length.

 80. Childerditch Lane

 Childerditch. The non-hill-climber’s hill-climb. Used by a handful of local clubs for uphill TTs, many a grimpeur’s teeth have been cut on that pitchy little rollercoaster from the A127 up to the car park 200 yards past the junction with Magpie Lane. Recover with a pint at the Greyhound or a jacuzzi in JP’s garden.

 81. Old Church Hill

Another reader submission: “Off Lower Dunton Road, personally think this is the worst Essex has, crap uneven surface, the top part is like a wall (13-15%). This is just south of Basildon and forms the straightest commute from London to Southend and is a single lane for the most of it.”

¾’s of a mile at 6%. A hidden beaut. Especially if you do the London to Southend commute.

 82. Piercing Hill Epping 

The run in is a long downhill and if you’re lazy the 15% grade can really bite. Get active in the run in, put some big cranks in and you might be able to sprint over the top which good old James from the 5am Club has, at 25mph.

 83. Ship road - Hanningfield 

Another reader suggestion but we can’t find a full Strava segment for it and there is good reason for that. There are several other routes to get you from Billericay to Chelmsford and the Stock Road which lies at the top of this climb is a very bad choice. Why you would ride the length of this road is another one of life’s mysteries.

84.Blue Mountains Hill

Not to be confused with the mountain range in New South Wales. Blue Mountains Hill (0.69mi 3% 273ft to 393ft) rises up from Wickham Bishops to Totham and might be the one with the adventure playground in it. We may have got a bit confused here. Our confusion however doesn’t extend to naming it after an actual mountain range on the other side of the world though. That would be silly. Chicken and egg though… chicken and egg.

 85. Wickham Bishops Hill climb

To be perfectly honest, this could be the one with the adventure playground on it. I’m lost. Map blind. Not as lost as the person who wrote in with this review though: “As wheel stoppingly steep as North Hill Danbury.” He is in a totally different place altogether! 0.89  3% 74ft to 231ft.

86. Hambro Hill

“A gentle climb from the junction with Rawreth Lane it ramps up after you pass under the railway line and the top is evil.”

He’s right! 15% of evil. The fact it’s in Rayleigh makes it worse.

 87. Hagg Hill

The immortal, much talked about Hagg Hill. Short yet steep, this narrow laned 20% mini monster has made grown men weep and lesser seasoned racers take the ‘Sprinters' Route’ diversion to avoid it all together. Local mountaineers are known to frequent this beast to practise before heading further afield. At its steepest, two narrow tyre width sections of gravel infused tarmac, bisected by a slightly more gravelly moss infested section in the centre means that choice of lane during a club ride becomes vital for any would be grimpeur. No shame in hitting the small ring early. Crest at the water tower, meet those that diverted and enjoy smug satisfaction of a job well done. Edmund Hillary would be proud.

88. Galleywood Road,

Great Baddow to The Eagle pub Galleywood. A long draggy climb that has virtually no interesting features apart from a zebra crossing. 2.1 miles to the traffic lights. Fortunately from here it is down the hill and away into the countryside. Bad on a good day. Worse every other day.

The only land mark of the Galleywood Road.

89. Brook Lane

Short nasty bit to West Hanningfield Road. Start at the Barn Conversion house at the bottom of the dip. Take a wide line around the bend where she gives you back 10% of hammer time and go hard to the junction as she levels out. Possible in just over a minute if you’re prepared to kick your own head in.

90. Station Road from Langford to Wickham Bishops

Beginning at around 7% (“Just look at those map contours!”) and levelling somewhat to offer 3% over the mile or so that she spans. The contour lines aren’t as close as first suggested but we are in Langford. Funny old place Langford. It’ll never be a ski resort.

91. Church Hill, Loughton

I know, another church. Through Loughton High St, average off 6% but with a 1% variable either way. Land of the Range Rovers, tanning shops, overpriced nail spas (not that I’ve ever been to one, mid-priced, over-priced or otherwise) and bars with terraces. Again not a gazillion miles away from the Epping Alps so we can still class this as a foothill.

92. York Hill

This little ramp in Loughton sits on the edge of the forest and holds an average of 8% but with a spicy ramp of around 12-13% right at the top. It’s called “Muur van Hub Velo” if you go through the little path at the top, a nice way to cut off Loughton if you’re heading out from East London.

93. Purleigh Hill

“Turn into it from the Post office and it’s a steep mo-fo up to the church and pub. Coming the other way it’s a bit more of a drag.”

94. Church Hill Climb

Another church another hill. Another hill another church… From Hoe Mill the drag back up past Spring Elms, the obligatory Church and The Warren Golf club to Woodham Mortimer is a test on sustained climbing with a few breaks in elevation. The Strava section here is the meat of the pangolin and gives you an indication of its weight. 0.6 miles at an average of around 4% but with ramps of 7 (and let's be honest here, that’s not really a ramp).

95. Coopersale Hill 

Relatively horrendous but Coopersale is nice and has a pub in it which is really nicely decorated every time I pass. The sort of place you would expect to have some sort of sing song in. Yanking up to the village with a couple of 9% bits shoehorned in for good measure she can serve as a “nice” cut through between the back of Epping and Norh Weald without having to do the car door limbo in Epping High St.

96. Coopersale Lane

A popular little cut through with a couple of 7% ramps before going over the M11 and potentially dropping you into Theydon Bois and the rest of Epping Forest. Not the worst little lane but with a couple of sharp blind bends where going too close to the apex is thoroughly not recommended!

97. Hoe Lane

A long drag out of Abridge that averages at 4% with a sprinkle of 7% and the occasional speed bump if the memory serves correctly. It’s a steady climb with a nice bit of resurfaced road as a reward near the end. Just what you need after 1.65km at a leg melting 4%.

 98. Banks Lane

Rising up to Gaynes Park and with a secondary kick in the crown jewels before levelling out, Banks lane provides a stepping stone between Epping and Toot Hill. Back in the day this was probably a major trading link for the Romans or something. Now it’s used mainly for cyclists and wedding parties. 0.8 miles with an average of 4% and a max of 12% in the second ramp.

Banks Lane. Doesn't look that bad there. It is worse than it looks...

99. Bread and Cheese Hill

Named after a popular local dessert, Bread and Cheese Hill is strictly still part of the A13 (although a very end bit). The other end is The City Of London. We have no idea why this is called Bread And Cheese Hill. If you know please drop us an email. But there isn’t a dairy or a bakery in sight (however, there is a Co-Op nearby). 5% with a 10% sprinkle and a main bus route.

*Bread And Cheese Hill is actually named after the pub at the top of said hill.

100. Vicarage Hill

A Benfleet classic which climbs up from Lower Benfleet area to the old water tower. Dishing out a 7% average over a third of  a mile she also offers a bottom bracket creaking 14% of unadulterated wallop to the quadriceps.

101. Castledon Road,

What better way to round this list off with a road that is (might be) named after a Castle. At least it has Castle in the title. Wickford to Downham. Not quite the Alps but you get what you get. So go and get it. Half a mile with a 12% smattering over an average of 4%. Start at the humpbacked bridge over the river and ride her all the way to Downham! Yee Ha!